How to Get Over an Existential... Uncertainty

Today’s post is brought to you by the Epiphany Express: How to Get Over an Existential… Uncertainty. Although God may have spent the seventh day resting after a week of hard work, I was up at the crack of dawn, drinking coffee and making my way through an offensively long errand list, as well as tagging friends in memes for good measure.

Whilst tediously clearing up space on my Macbook, I had the pleasure of going through about eight years worth of Microsoft Word documents. It was through this pinnacle task that I stumbled across an archive: my Bucket List. And that’s when this untouched artefact hit me in the feels - a place that hasn’t felt quite as disheartened since Freddo’s went up in price.


In front of me, lay a list of promises a then fourteen-year-old recently diagnosed cancer patient, had made to herself once, or even if, she ever got the all clear. Now, eight years later, the list hadn’t been acknowledged in years. And with that, I began comparing myself to the person that fourteen-year-old would be – more accurately, the version of that person I remember.

I was the girl who at sixteen, received her last batch of chemotherapy and then went on to complete a sponsored skydive, in the next twenty-four hours. I was the girl who at eighteen, booked up to go to Thailand, by herself for six weeks, and in turn, had one of the best experiences of her life. I was the girl who, at nineteen, visited twenty-two cities outside of the UK (all paid for by myself). I was the girl who, also at nineteen, split up with her then-boyfriend whilst in Austria, and instead of dwelling on it, literally threw herself off a cliff, in the form of paragliding (see above photo). 

And now, here I am, at twenty-two, with a full-time job, albeit at the start of her career, and whose ideal spare time consists of dining out and a cheeky 2 for 1 cocktail. When did I become the person I spent my whole teenage life campaigning against being?

And that’s when the Epiphany Express train came storming in… I’m going to be the Girl Who Can Do Both. I’m going to let out the curiosity of my inner teenager – the girl who sought unexpected extraordinariness of the world – but this time, I’m going to balance it alongside trying to pursue my career. I want my weekends and holidays, heck even afternoons, to be full of adventure and excitement. After all, I’m, or even we’re, simply living, breathing human-beings with a set amount of days to our name. There may only be four months left of 2017 but I’m determined to try and pack as much into the last quarter before I may 2018 my best year yet. I’d definitely urge you to do the same!

Think about it: what places do you want to visit? What good do you want to achieve? What are your fears, and how can you overcome them? Don’t edit your list as you go along – write down whatever comes to mind. Now, let’s embrace our opportunities as you never know what tomorrow could bring – Freddo prices increasing included!

epiphanyBekki RamsayComment